Daughter used credit cards without permission over $10,000, wrecked vehicle, does not pay insurance or car?

29Nov2007 Filed under: Used Cars Author: admin

pam m asked:

note, has abused me, i am disabled due to sickness, she shops and takes her boyfriend out to eat at big name restaurants. Every since my divorced my children turned against me but not the culprit. I dont have the money to pay the latest charges $5 thousand - i dont know what to do - she and her sister deserves jail - but i feel ? they need to learn from these wrong choices they selected to do - but i have worked in the prison system and i dont want them subjected to the atmosphere/
Daughters are 24 and 20 yrs old, was married 24 yrs divorced 5 yrs, yes i whipped them, spanked them, even was raised in church for at least 14 yrs before ex went crazy, i was a single parent in a married home and now____ it hurts.

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24 Responses to “Daughter used credit cards without permission over $10,000, wrecked vehicle, does not pay insurance or car?”

yetti
December 1st, 2007 at 5:18 pm

IF they keep it up they are going to end up going there for somethign really stupid…..turn them in know and maybe they will not get as much time….
taboo
December 4th, 2007 at 3:35 pm

Talk to the credit card company. Let them know these are not YOUR charges. They will have to get verification that you didn’t sign for the charges. Take it from there. Did you give her permission to drive your car? Is it time to let your girls be ‘independent’? Kick ‘em out! It may be tough, but probably for the better.
caz
December 7th, 2007 at 4:41 am

They are totally taking advantage of you! If they are old enough kick them out, so they get a taste of the real world. If you raised them correctly they will make the right choices when they are out there, but right now…they definitely are not making the right choices. If they are too young to go out you need to discipline them, if you need help then you better get on the horn and get some before they run you into an even bigger rut.
Year of the Monkey
December 8th, 2007 at 1:13 pm

You need to dispute the charges, first. Get a case number with the police, don’t necessarily say you know it was your daughter. Technically, the charges a re fradulent, and you should not be held accountable.

Secondly, cancel all the cards, and hide the new ones better.

Third, if your daughter is 18, kick her out of the house. Tell her if she’s going to steal from you and vandalize your property, then you will get a restraining order to protect yourself. Tell her you love her, and that if she won’t listen to you, then you’ll just have to love her from afar.
Marsha Mellow
December 11th, 2007 at 2:57 pm

job corp….

seriously…

check it out…

jobcorps.doleta.gov
katiejean0013
December 14th, 2007 at 10:00 am

How old are your kids? If they are over 18, just use “tough love” and kick them out of the house asap! If not… Maybe you should call the police… Even if thats not what you want for them, do you really have a choice? Maybe they won’t learn until you take some serious action.
Good luck and God bless.
gokus945
December 14th, 2007 at 12:37 pm

Turn them in. There should be consequences to their horrible actions. Jail might change them.
Bella
December 17th, 2007 at 12:34 am

Press charges and let her learn the hard way. In real life there are consequences for bad behaivor. This is gonna have to be one of those tough love things. But if she is treating you this way I can imagine what type of person she is and all the other dirt she has done. Jail is the way to learn this lesson
vincent g
December 20th, 2007 at 2:24 am

Do what is hardest. You already have the answer.
ShanaJ
December 20th, 2007 at 6:23 am

They need a slap in the face. Jail is where they belong. They are clearly taking advantage of you. Time for some tough love I am afraid. I am sorry you are having such a hard time. If they do not learn now, they may never learn. Good luck.

FYI, Job corps do not work. They need jail and rehab…
Kraftee
December 20th, 2007 at 1:15 pm

Out of curiosity, who owned the car that was wrecked? Who pays for the insurance for that car? Where did she get your credit cards? What is her age? Is she married? Does she live with you? In what way are you being abused? Is she employed? Is she 18? Who pays for her support (things such as food, rent) for the things that she doesn’t charge on your credit card?
Taking someone’s credit card without permission, and using it, is stealing. Stealing is a crime. Abusing someone is a crime.
Report her crimes to the police.
nikki
December 23rd, 2007 at 2:31 am

Usually i would say whoop her butt. But since you cant do that
i say call the cops and let them handle it
$ouThChyk
December 23rd, 2007 at 4:10 pm

Me personally I think something like jail will be good, because that is not right that you should have to be put through unneccessary stress from your FAMILY. I don’t think jail would be a bad choice, but tough love. They need to see what its like to be treated badly, and they’ll learn to appreciate every little thing you do.
peilthetraveler
December 24th, 2007 at 4:14 pm

You have exactly 3 choices.

1. Put them in jail (probably the best one)

2. Lock her out of the house and never speak to her again until she shapes up.

3. Do nothing, and let her kill you one night in your sleep because you ran out of money for her to spend. (Dont even being to think im exaggerating because i am not.)

Your Daughter is a criminal under united states law and has already committed fraud and domestic violence and you HAVE to know she is using drugs on top of all this. You didnt mention it, but come on…you know she is because normal people dont do this stuff. Next step in her life is murder. So the question is…do you want her to go to jail for fraud where she’ll get less than 1 year, or do you want her to go to jail for murder where she will spend her whole life there.

Your kids are not your friends, stop worrying what they will think about you and if they will hate you or not. Your job is to protect them and you did a terrible job so far. This is your LAST chance. Be a parent.
luvdenzel
December 28th, 2007 at 3:59 am

you work in the prison system.. let them get a taste of what it will be like .. they dont respect you.. they need a reality check.. they will regret it all if God forbid if you die.. TOUGH LOVE is what you need to do.. THEY HAVE TO LEARN THE HARD WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
zombie2wolf
December 29th, 2007 at 2:48 pm

File a restraining order against the boyfriend. Make your daughter get a job and raise all that money to pay you back and make her pay for everything to get fixed. If she doesn’t throw her in Juvie.
daljack
December 31st, 2007 at 1:23 pm

You don’t have a lot of choices…..either you make her accept responsibility or you find a way to pay for this.

This advice is too late but teaching our children about the consequences of their actions is one of the first things we’re supposed to teach our children.
Natty-Lea
January 2nd, 2008 at 8:09 pm

It sounds like your daughter could do with spending some time in jail. Right now she’s just taking advantage of you in the most horrible way - if those bills don’t get paid it will be YOU who gets into trouble - she already know this, she just doesn’t care about it. Call the police and report everything. She needs to learn to take responsibility for her own actions. Be strong.
I hate finks
January 4th, 2008 at 7:01 pm

Did they get spanked as kids? If not, maybe that’s the problem.

Call the cops, get her put in jail, that is theft. Since they don’t care about you, why protect them? Let them learn the hard way, they’ll hate you either way. It’s called tough love and sometimes it’s the ONLY thing that works, sorry to say.
Barbara C
January 7th, 2008 at 5:38 am

I say get a lawyer and take them to court, they won’t go to jail, but they will be required to pay what they have taken. Why is her insurance and car note in your name. I suggest you stop allowing them to take advantage of you. Dr. Phil always says you teach people how to treat you. You allow them to do this, so they continue. I know they are your children, but noone deserves this, and if they were not your children what would you do? I say call a lawyer right now.
Melissa
January 7th, 2008 at 10:02 pm

Turn it over to the credit card company. They will press charges for card fraud, and your daughter will probably have to recompensate the charges and may spend jail time. You want them to learn from their consequences, well that’s the best thing for it. What can you do that would be more effective? Nothing. They broke the law. They need to pay the penalty.

You say you’ve worked the system. How many of those people wound up there because their parents never let them take the fall the first time? Instead, the parents enabled them to continue their criminal behaviors over and over, until it became a severe consequence. Take care of it now, before they rack up more charges.

It sounds to me that you are allowing yourself to be abused out of some misplaced martyr complex from the divorce. You feel guilty and they are raking it in from your guilt. You don’t have to feel guilty, there is no reason to, and you don’t have to pay anything to make it up to them.
malwilhist
January 11th, 2008 at 2:05 am

They get what they deserve. Where they get by thinking that it’s okay to treat their mother like that is beyond me. I know you love your kids, but they have no respect for you and that’s more important than love if they treat you like an animal. It’s time to grow some balls and fight back!
greydoc6
January 12th, 2008 at 11:54 pm

There are no winners in this situation. I doubt your daughter will go to jail if you report her, but you should do just that. Close your credit account and cut up the cards.Transfer your credit card balance to another carrier. Closing the account might lower your credit rating, but if you aren’t planning any big purchases, this might not affect you. Ask for only one card and keep it secure. Discuss the entire situation with a reputable financial counselor. Also, talk to someone with the local legal aid society.
stephaniedayton2
January 13th, 2008 at 1:44 am

ok first of all how old are these kids that we are talking about? second… first thing is first.. as soon as the car is fixed… sell it and use the money to pay off the car note… these children don’t deserve a car.. call the credit card company and tell them that you did not make the charges on your card… cut them off… don’t let them have more credit cards…. the insurance company will probably press charges but they will probably not go to jail but will just be held accountable for the money that they STOLE from you…. if you don’t do this now you may never get the chance to fix their behavior…..